"Holy Moly"
Stevie Haywood, we’re not worthy
You have put us all to shame
If your arse is on fire and your feet perspire
You’ve only yourself to blame
You’re doing this, for charity
It’s such a worthy cause
But you’d have to set your knob on fire
Before some would even applause
The blog’s gone mad, they’re all on there
Keeping up with your big story
Every twist and turn and tale
The blood, the sweat and the glory
The big long run, down to the coast
At the Channel – you’d done two thirds
And if you weighed more after the swim
You probably swallowed some turds
Riding like hell, towards gay
You had really had done your bit
When you hit the L’Arc de Triumphe in great style
Did you stop and think – Holy Shit!
Did I just run from Marble Arch?
Then steer down to the coast?
And swim the channel and ride to
With a strong, supporting host?
Did I just do that for charity?
Using my stern and steely might?
I can’t believe I’ve done so much
Holy.
Moly.
Shite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jane Pallister 2007